“I wouldn’t consider myself a coffee snob.” Most reviews start like that then continue on to explain exactly why the author is, in fact, a coffee snob. I feel like any opinion can come off as snobby to someone else. I grew up drinking coffee from an early age. Many sleepovers at my Bapa and Nana’s house ended dinner with a cup of coffee (we usually went out, I miss you Imperial Dynasty) and started the next day with one as well. What began as milk and Equal sweetener with a splash of coffee has now become this diverse coffee palate that ranges between black cold brew and sweet Irish coffee (coincidentally my two orders at Dutch Bros). Dutch Bro’s Kicker (the aforementioned Irish Cream flavored coffee) is about as deep as I’ll dive into sweet drinks and is probably one of the only blended drinks I’ll get (the others are some weird combinations that I pick on the fly in line at Dutch Bros). I used to have that sweet tooth for Starbucks Frappe’s but some of my favorite long gone coffee places led me into sweeter-but-not-over-the-top flavors like the Vietnamese or cookie latte (a cold latte with cookie milk and cookie milk ice, to not dilute the flavor).
I am not one to bring coffee from home if I can help it. Sitting in line for a cold brew is sort of my equivalent of having a longer commute. I get in a few more minutes of The Bob and Tom radio show, I get a greeting from an abnormally peppy (since its 8am) youth, and I get a chance to just get some me time between waking up and going into work. However, when I do make coffee at home, I typically prefer to make on ordeal out of it. I love to grind my coffee, heat up my kettle, and brew a nice pour over.
Break if in need of coffee
Sometimes when I’m in a pinch, neither of those are an option. Sometimes I need to whip up a cup before I run off somewhere, other times its getting late into the afternoon and I just want a smaller cup, or there’s even times I’m hanging out with Nana and every second longer in the kitchen warrants question after question. That’s where I can’t live without Costco’s Pacific Bold. Say what you will about the environmental impact of these k cups, I agree that they’re not the most friendly way to brew coffee. But when you don’t need to brew a pot, they are a good quick pinch alternative. Pacific Bold’s flavor profile works with anything from straight black up to how I drank coffee as a kid; with mostly milk and sugar.
The Final Verdict
I can drink this stuff by the gallon. If I am even just a little not in the mood to brew something better, I don’t mind grabbing me a nice cup of Pacific Bold. Its dark and mellow. I feel like many other brands feature bitter notes as a way to “liven” up their coffee but miss me with that, when I want my bean-based wake up juice, I want it to go down smooth. I would say that Pacific Bold’s middle name is “smooth.” Its not the best coffee you can find in K cup form, but those other brands are beyond overpriced and I would rather get them in bean form. If I am not brewing a pour over of Bones or Deathwish or getting in line at Dutch Bros, I am totally going to brew me up a cup of the ol’ PB.
Man it has been a month for me. I spent nearly every single minute away from students at work grading, so the last thing I felt like doing when I got home was writing. But alas! Now it is summer! And with summer, I hope to get back to my pace of one review a day.
Now I feel like I’ve lied lately when I said this blog was about stuff in arm’s reach. Video games are only technically in arm’s reach, since my computer- the vessel that houses said games- is very comfortably in grabbing distance and a car is very not in arm’s length. You know what is in touching distance? A blanket.
The gift you can definitely get for someone you just kinda know. Maybe you want to get all your friends’ wives gifts. I don’t think people go to the store with the intent to buy a blanket. You walk around Kohls and its not until you stumble across this pile of thick, luscious blankets after hours of looking at other things that you realize “man, these would make great Christmas gifts for all of my friends’ wives.”
I am not a blanket person. I am a human heating pad. If I was flatter and wider, I myself could be quite the blanket. Like a blanket, you don’t want me close to you during the summer. Before acquiring The Big One, I reached for a blanket once or twice a year. Once when I am sick and once when I am sitting at my computer, shortly before tossing it off in a fit of heat.
That being said, I love this blanket. I didn’t actually seek it out; my girlfriend knows that I like plaid things and thus she got me a really plush red plaid blanket. It is so soft and keeps me at the right temperature. I keep it at the foot of my bed, so that it is always within reach. I like to be warm in the cold, so even on winter days I would turn my fan on and get cozy under my big one. Sometimes I just need to slip my feet under my big one. There is however, one thing misleading about the name…
A one that isnt big is hardly a one at all
I am a big guy. That bigness extends in all directions. Store-bought pants come in long or wide, but rarely both. Its a hassle to find bigger shirts that are also tall (that are rad, I need colorful). So, when I read “The Big One” on the blanket’s packaging, I expected something I could drown in. I always saw pictures online of the Big Blanket Co. blankets that looked like a huge pillow-fortable blanket for adults. I cant say I didn’t expect something akin to that from the blanket called “The Big One.” One thing I didn’t know is that The Big One is actually a brand. A brand of not comically large items like the name suggests.
It merely reaches from my toesies up my noseie
If I pull it up to my face, my toesies pop out. If I cover my toes, I can’t get a good wrap around my shoulders. Yea I’m only 6’4, but I can’t just cover my toes and call it good, the blanket needs to wrap under them to really lock out that cold. I need another foot of length Lord Big One, I beg you. Width wise, I am fine. I am not 5 feet wide and I could probably fit two of me in here. However that second me would also either have cold tootsies or shoulders.
The Final Verdict
The Big One is a blanket from Kohls that will keep you the perfect amount of warm. Its plush microfiber will never make you itch. It is enormous as long as you are not also enormous. Normal sized people, like the aforementioned friends’ wives who probably all have one, likely find themselves with more blanket than they can shake a stick at. One day I am sure Big One headquarters will read this and create a Bigger One (in purple plaid please) to please the bigger ones of society. Until then, browsing Kohls’ website, I noticed that they have one with cats and plants, so I may just go on a special trip to get another.
Sorry for the delay, the next two weeks are going to be a little slower since its the end of the semester. But without further ado, the second game in this battle of battlers is Fortnite. Like many of the most popular games out there, this game is loved by many and hated by even more (including some who play it).
Fortnite
Fortnite (what is now called Save the World) started off as an extremely promising survival/building game with a bit of a strange twist- it was a paid early access for an otherwise free to play game. While not totally unheard of (and not without some cool bonuses), I feel like this kept many who were interested in the game on the sidelines. Many of my friends who saw “eventually free to play” (which ended up being a lie) figured they would wait to play a theoretically more finished game with no barrier to entry. A short time after this ”release,” Epic announced the release of a new game mode called “Fortnite Battle Royale.” Now when you say Fortnite, this is what you immediately think of.
Created as a “let’s make PUBG in the Fortnite engine” exercise, the game quickly exploded into its own thing. What started as a side mode quickly eclipsed the main game. Many now-famous (or previously famous) streamers rode the Fortnite hype train to the moon as well.
The biggest differences from PUBG lie in the art style and building. Gone are the (poorly outfitted) custom character dress ups and weapon attachments, and in their places are a wide range of fandom-spanning character skins and building.
Dropping
As opposed to PUBG’s (and Warzone’s) super serious plane flyover, Fortnite features a fun bus that’s held up by a hot air balloon. It makes a “honk honk” sound when it’s time to drop and you can thank the bus driver. It really sets the tone for the game to follow. When you’re actually dropping, you can swap between your glider and free fall. As usual, there’s a hard zone above land where you have to use your glider. Your glider can be anything from a basic glider to an umbrella to a little X-Wing from Star Wars or even Thor’s Hammer.
Loot
Upon landing, you begin hearing a telltale hum from the walls. Hidden on upper levels, in cellars, in doorless rooms or even just in the corner, you can follow those siren songs to a lovely loot chest. Like in all BR’s, some loot is on the ground, but in Fortnite, the good stuff is in the chests. Guns are all color coded by their rarity, so instead of a myriad of attachments, you are simply in the hunt for the rarest of weapons- a legendary. Those have the best stats and a different appearance (shared with the epic version) than the common, uncommon, or rare versions. Over the course of the season, different weapons are vaulted or unvaulted, but there are typically no more than 2-3 of each class of weapon at one time (unless you’re an smg fan, where sometimes you get one and in some seasons you couldn’t even upgrade it past epic).
Gameplay
This biggest gameplay change is the building feature. Fortnite gives you the ability to swing a pickaxe (or Mjölnir or Wolverine claws or spooky scythe or comically large wrench) and collect wood, stone, or metal. Anything from a tree to a building can give these materials and you can level anything to the ground except the map’s own geometry (and a few walls or surfaces here and there). Glowing sweet spots allow you to mine even faster and can turn every swing of your axe into its own mini game. Building is a major part of the game. It can give anyone a height advantage and as much as I like to brag about being good at the game without it, if someone of equal gun skill is a better builder, then I have no chance. While it doesn’t seem like the best feature to have in a BR, it does give some unique traversal options or some cover where you’d otherwise be out in the open. Beyond building, these mined materials can be used to upgrade guns (or purchase them, depending on the season).
Talking about building, most games end with some sort of build-off duel between players. Some skilled players can erect towers in mere seconds. I personally end the game waiting for the second and third place players to fight it out before crumbling their tower to the ground with a rocket. Sometimes they recover and blast me, sometimes I get a win. Either way it usually ends with the winner dancing over the loser’s body (I personally like the pizza eating emote).
The game really does change from season to season, so features may include bosses, their secret lairs, and their own custom henchmen; cars, boats, and sometimes aerial vehicles; signature weapons and comic inspired heroic abilities; edible vegetables and fish that have various abilities; and most importantly, an ever changing map with constantly emerging points of interest. The game has an overarching storyline that had a soft reset after season 10. Seasons are usually bookended by various events, keeping the universe feeling fresh and new.
This season started with a cinematic single player experience and then mid round I killed an NPC and got this orb
HUD and UI
The HUD in Fortnite is pretty simple, you see your team, a map, and your weapons in the bottom right. The only menu you can open allows you to drop items and ammo. You have two hot bars, one with weapons and items (inventory) and the other with buildable objects. In your inventory, you are limited to 5 items plus your pickaxe. This includes weapons and any items (except for traps) that you may find. Health is returned via bandages, first aid kits, or fish, while your shields aren’t actually a physical item to worry about upgrading, you instead drink potions (or in some places, stand in blue goo) to fill that up as well. But those items all take up inventory slots, so you have to really pick and choose your loadout. Like other games, you can limit yourself to 2-3 weapons and take healing items in the other slots, or you can throw caution to the wind and choose to have a weapon for every situation.
The closest thing to an inventory screen
Design
Fortnite’s world is vibrant and colorful- the direct antithesis of PUBG’s gritty realism. Everything is crisp yet cartoony. Various graphical updates over the years have kept this game looking pretty fresh (at least on PC with RTX). Skins are highly detailed and no matter where the character is from- a pancake man original to Fortnite (aptly named Mancake) or even a literal Predator, fresh out of an R rated movie- they fit perfectly in the world with a cohesive visual style. Parachutes are gone for the aforementioned gliders, again ranging from Fortnite originating umbrella’s (that you get from winning each season) to various ships or items from the various universes that the characters hail from. Players can perform a myriad of different dances or emotes, ranging from Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” to a very annoying donkey laugh that sweats use when they kill you.
The Store/Battlepass
This game doesn’t have a ton of different currencies; everything here is based around V-Bucks. For a free to play game, this was one of the only true free to play experiences out there (I say that because technically you couldn’t buy the first battlepass or the new crew subscription with earned V-bucks). If you earned V-bucks from the free areas of the first two battlepasses, you could eventually buy the second and every subsequent battlepass for V-bucks earned solely from gameplay. That is extraordinary value for a free to play game. I have no qualms buying a battlepass for a season that features many interesting characters. I know that by the end of the battlepass, I’ll have enough V-bucks to buy the next battlepass or any skin in the store that I couldn’t live without (you aren’t my main, but I’d die for Spring Bushranger).
For the store, I can give the same praise. There is no chance with this game, no loot boxes, no gamble. If I want more content, I click on what I want to buy and buy it. Again, any of this content can’t be earned in game. Of course, without purchasing anything, someone who played as much as I have would only be able to get a handful of skins without getting at least a battlepass, but the point is, if you see something you want, it is attainable without any monetary investment. Now of course I previously mentioned the Club, a subscription that gets you the current battlepass and some exclusive skins, along with 1000 V-bucks. As far as I know, you can’t get it with V-bucks and the skins within are promised to be only obtainable by club members. So far the skins are pretty meh anyway, so I am happily not subscribed.
The final verdict
Fortnite isn’t for everyone. It’s probably the most different from its contemporaries, almost to the point of polarization. A ton of people love it, while many are put off by its style or seemingly younger player base. If you play any of the other Battle Royales, I can easily suggest trying this one out, since it is so different. No other BR really embodies lighthearted fun like Fortnite, where Deadpool can ride a pogo stick while Master Chief can race him in a tiny Warthog and a tomato headed man plays a cowbell. Where else can an extremely muscular cat take you to the gun show?
This game is perfect for children, since the graphics are pretty PG (even if shooting is questionable, but that’s an argument for another day) and they can earn whatever they want without breaking their parent’s bank. Like any kid, I’m jazzed to open up a Christmas card with V-Bucks or a box with a 12 point of articulation Rippley figurine (my boy!). I mean the latter isn’t in-game, but an adult being excited over your physical toy says something about the quality of your merchandising. The Club subscription could be a good way to coax your kid into getting good grades and the ability to play this game on literally any device with a screen is a good outlet to bond with your child should you have multiple consoles or a smart phone.
If you are engaged in other battle royale’s and you want a change of pace, or maybe you travel a lot and you want a game you can play at home on PC or on the go with your Switch, Fortnite is the way to go.
You may have thought my Cats ranking was my big review that I had in my pocket for the week. You just happen to be mistaken. My true big review is actually a clash of the video game titans. And instead of hitting you all at one with one monster review of all the games (and partially because this is taking absolutely forever to write), I’ve decided to split it into 4 parts.
Say you’re late to the party and you say, “Hey Tyler, you’re quite the renaissance man when it comes to playing games, what Battle Royale should I play?” There isn’t an easy answer, as even the game I like the most in this comparison has a few glaring flaws. So instead of a simple suggestion, let me hit you with something a little better…
Wait hold up, what is a Battle Royale you ask? Its a game where you drop into a map with 100 or so other players in teams sized from solo up to quad (varies depending on the game) and fight to be the last team standing. Across the board, you loot your way across an ever shrinking map and no two matches ever play out the same. They all have their own quirks, and while no game is the objectively best BR, there is one out there that can please many different gamers.
Player Unknown’s Battlegrounds
PUBG, PapaGino- whatever your group calls it, this was the original monster BR. Created as a spinoff of a spinoff of (possibly even another spinoff of) Arma 2 and taking a few cues from the movie Battle Royale, PUBG was an enormous hit. Some see it as the true start to the BR craze and the reason Fortnite (Save the World) and arguably Titanfall 3 have been buried.
PUBG was the game that introduced me to the BR format of games, and for quite a length of time, it was one of my go-to nightly games. PUBG’s format is the backbone of most BR games so for the sake of nostalgia, most future comparisons will likely be to this game. Overall, PUBG is probably the most realistic (Warzone is more like movie realism) and that makes it the most clunky. But with clunkyness comes quirkiness, which is really part of the charm of PUBG.
Dropping
PUBG features a rather nuanced dropping system, probably being the most realistic of the lot. You can pull your chute at any time but do it too high and you’ll be in the air for a while. There is a modifier button to drop straight down or coast when you’re free falling or parachuting. You definitely have the most control over your trajectory here over any of the other big BR’s, though it may be a lot slower than the drop/pull chute/cut shoot/pull chute/etc… of Warzone.
Loot
Most of the time you are seeking out buildings for floor loot, since unlike the other games, there are no loot chests (except for the supply drops). The guns are all fairly real world guns using their real world ammunition types and all have a myriad of attachments to attach. This is where the clunkyness comes in. Your HUD will show you if you have a weapon it can be used with, but it does not auto equip, so you are stuck dragging it from the ground or your backpack to your current gun (yet it will swap backbacks and armor, weird inconsistency). Early in the game’s life (before anything worth getting came exclusively from the battlepass), you also had clothes on the ground that you could find, but that was dropped to streamline gameplay and “help lag.” Helmets, backpacks, and body armor are still a major mechanic though.
The flipside to the clunkyness of looting, is the useful TAB menu for accessing your inventory- and by inventory I mean also the ground. This is the only game that has an interface to see ground loot, so you might have a hard time picking up stacked loot in later games (unless you have a Loba on your squad in Apex). Like most, the Supply Chests offer stronger loot, but are easy to contest in many of the game’s wide open areas.
Each weapon has a varying amount of attachment slots. You have a few different choices for each but the stat differences are more so for preference, though some like the silencer or combo quick reload/extended magazine are outright better.
Gameplay
PUBG has the tried and true drop-loot-fight gameplay loop. Sometimes you go whole games without seeing anyone and other times you fight from the start. Other times you fight all game with the worst weapons (even worse, PUBG lately seems to have all guns start semi auto, so that makes things interesting should you forget to change it) or sometimes you’re armed to the teeth and die to a single headshot from someone across the map.
Speaking of dying randomly, this game does both a good and poor job of showing you where enemies are. People are virtually invisible while scoping if they’re hidden well enough and if they haven’t been firing or moving, its hard to tell where any potential foes are. Gunfire though is another story. This game has probably the most realistic soundscape, which really helps finding the direction of enemies. Guns also expel a very tell-tale muzzle flash, so if you do get the jump on someone, make it count.
Movement is pretty standard third-person fare, with a couple extra flourishes like climbing/vaulting and leaning. The game is the only one that can be both first or third person, but you can kind of tell which one they started with (third) because of how things are set up. Third person allows for some corner peeking ambushes without any skin in the game (you can see them, but they can’t see you) which is why some prefer the first person mode. For me, a careful pace and religious use of sound cues (thank you DT990’s) are enough to root out many lurkers.
Design
For some reason, half of these games are (originally) set in Russia. PUBG’s first map was a lush early fall seeming countryside in Russia, with a later map set in a snowy Russia. Other maps include a Mexican desert and a lush East Asian Island. All maps have their own designs and layouts. They also feature different weapons and vehicles.
Graphics were pretty realistic for their time. Some updates in the times between first playing and now have increased the quality of the anti-aliasing (and by updates I mean a new graphics card and higher res monitor, so I don’t know if the game actually changed). Either way, the higher definition just sort of highlights the aging textures and weak lighting.
These textures are a snoozefest
Battlepass and Store
Note the number of purchases for BP (in game currency) and then for credits (paid)
An in-game store in a long term game is an inevitability. I don’t mind being offered unique skins to keep the lights on, especially since the game isn’t based around cosmetics (looking at you Sea of Thieves, putting cool stuff in a for money store is not very work-hard-to-be-a-pirate-lord of you). I’m not a fan when its a paid-for game and even the base set of skins is based behind a random loot box (*cough Overwatch*), but that is more of a game industry issue at large. Very few items are available for in game currency, so if you don’t spend more on this game, your character will look like it (and you’ll have a ton of locked chests in your inventory).
If it doesn’t say free, you just wave at the item as you pass it up.
With the birth of the BR comes the birth of one of the most controversial gaming fads- the Battlepass. Starting a bit earlier in Dota2, Battlepasses took off with Fortnite. It was not long before PUBG also started one. Split into seasons, the first Battlepass was pretty much a cash grab. You couldn’t possibly complete it unless you made the game your 9-5, or much easier, paid a stack of cash. Battlepasses prey on that FOMO (fear of missing out) that can really be damaging to some individuals. If you get near the end of a pass, its all too tempting to drop some stacks to get to the skin you might want, but that’s an argument for another time. Here specifically, it was nigh impossible to finish without serious dedication.
Overall
This is a solid game that has probably some of the most realistic gameplay of the lot. Its the earliest (and boy does it feel that way) but is just a delightful mix of many aspects that later games hold center stage. If you like military simulations or survival games and want something a bit more faster paced, this is a great one to look at. If you’ve played later BR’s and want to try something new, maybe wait for a free weekend. Just know that though its the only game behind a paywall, it has the least amount of progression and probably the stingiest Battlepass and in-game store.
Cats is a stunning work of art. That isn’t a grammatically flawed sentence (at least it’s not intended to be, grammar police); I’m talking about Cats the musical. The Broadway musical goes back to the 80’s, where flashy, weird stuff was the norm. It was the biggest musical in the world for a while and it frankly deserves it- most of the songs are fire. The movie, on the other hand, is an absolute train wreck. Everyone at this point has a review of Cats and I don’t think a single person liked this movie. But my relationship with Cats goes back long ago.
I don’t remember the vhs, but I had one that had the preview for the Cats stage recording. It was strange and I was always kind of interested, but it wasn’t really a movie I could find just on the main shelf at Hollywood Video (I didn’t venture into those middle shelves until I was much older), so it was always relegated to one of those movies I always wanted to see but always overlooked when it was actually movie picking time. But ever since then, any talk of Cats always got me a little excited.
So what am I reviewing, the movie or the Broadway recording? Well, neither. I’m reviewing the cats themselves. Using an aggregate of the film and Broadway version of their song, I’m going to rate each cat on ownability. Starting with the worst, most mischievous little cat and ending with the best. Speaking of mischievous….
Rumpleteazer/ Mungojerrie
Image credit- Cats Wiki
These cats suck. They break things. They steal things. Their songs are hot garbage. No one wants a cat that breaks things, and I’m not even sure that was even their house. They have collars (at least in the movie), so they belong to some poor sour, but it won’t be me!
Victoria
Image credit- Cats Wiki
This curious cat will make her rounds around the neighborhood and keep you up fraught with worry. She’s also just kind of dull. She does throw down a nice dance here or there but who gets a cat for their dancing ability? While she gets a few points for being the cat in the Broadway play to (spoilers:) touch Grizabella’s hand and bring her into the Jellicles, she loses my praise because she has the movies one original song. A song that is literally saying “yo, Grizzy, your life is not that bad, mine is totes worse.” Nobody likes a bragger, especially if that bragger is your cat.
Growltiger
Image credit- Cats Wiki
Who’s Growltiger you say? In the play, Gus has a boring song about him acting on stage while in the movie, he’s a simple lackey for Macavity. Both are pretty meh, except in the movie he is played by the wonderful Ray Winstone. At least in the later stage versions he looks kinda like a pirate and who doesn’t like a cat you can dress up.
Bombalurina
Image credit- Cats Wiki
Ah, the T swizzle cat. She doesn’t even get her own song but sings a laid back jam about Macavity. She has more presence in the play than the movie. In the movie she tries to chemically inhibit the Jellicles so that Macavity can get swoops on the Heaviside Layer, which is not the making of a good cat. Without a song, my hands are tied and I can’t properly rank her, but since she shows up just to announce the villain in the movie (in the play it’s more of a clarification of who he is and she’s actually one of the main cats), I feel like she fits right below said villain on this list.
Macavity
Image credit- Cats Wiki
The ginger cat who’s not even ginger. If you’re going to have Idris Elba play a panther-esque looking cat, at least change the line in the song. He of course loses points for being, you know, evil. No one wants a cat that tortures and captures other cats (in the movie he nabs more than just Old Deuteronomy). Also, he knows some sort of teleportation magic? If I’m dropping timber with the door closed, the last thing I want is a cat that can pop in unannounced. On the other hand though, I have to commend him on his determination. Most cats just sing their song and that’s it- Macavity reached out and grabbed it (it being Old Deut). And he would have succeeded if it wasn’t for that much higher ranking magical cat…
Gus, the Theater Cat
Image credit- Cats Wiki
Gus is really hard to put on this list. Personality wise, he seems like a great cat, plus his full name is “Asparagus” which is pretty darn cool. In his heyday, he was the top cat, but has wavered in his older years. His song isn’t terribly good (It sounds beautiful but just lags on and Ian Mckellen kind of just speaks it in the movie) and it kind of talks down to the modern cats, so hence the mid ranking of this otherwise well-lived, wise, old cat.
Grizabella, the Glamour Cat
Image credit- Cats Wiki
It’s almost heartbreaking to put Grizabella this low on this list. She is the most iconic cat in this play. Most people know Memory as the headlining song from this whole show. Unfortunately she is a dumpy old cat who is literally begging to die. She wants to be accepted by her cat peers, but translating to real life, this cat is the one you hear all night crying for something. She used to be a big deal (read: glamour cat) and had a fall from grace. Her namesake song that describes her takes me back to those sad animal sponsoring commercials (thanks Sarah McLachlan). Yea, she had a hard life and you are a saint if you adopt a cat like this, but ownability wise, she might be a handful.
Old Deuteronomy
Image credit- Cats Wiki
This is like the cat that people bring up when they say the names in Cats are silly. While all versions of their (male in the play, female in the movie) song are absolute bops. Ken Page runs circles around Judi Dench in this role, with his deep thunderous voice rattling my eardrums with each listen. Unfortunately, I’m looking at song content too, and the definining personality trait for OD is simply that they’ve been around a long ol’ time. They get one spot down from where I’d otherwise put them, since their Broadway recording has a glass breaking sound at the start that always catches me off guard.
Jennyanydots and Bustopher Jones
Images credit- Cats Wiki
These both have top tier songs in the stage version, but the movie absolutely slaughters these too. Sure James Corden and Rebel Wilson are disliked in some circles, but for me it has nothing to do with that and more so that their songs just aren’t as technically good as the original version. Both are plagued by the usual stop and go problem I have with like the disney live action remakes, where the song stops for either a joke or a dance number and totally loses momentum. You know that part at the end of the Josh Gad version of “Gaston” when he ruins the joke about being illiterate by explaining it? That’s what the movie did to these two. However, the original versions of these are such iconic slaps that everything I just said, it’s fairly moot. These are lazy, hungry cats who keep themselves plenty busy- so exactly why you get a cat.
Mr. Mistoffelees
Image credit- Cats Wiki
This one is hard, because he seems like a mischievous cat, not much different from the thieving annoyances much lower on the list. But this song is the climax! This cat is the hero! He saves the whole day. This is the kind of cat that is a bit of a brat but has your back. He may disappear or hide things, but in the end, he comes in clutch. He’s the cat that gets the bird your kid let in the house (or just brings in a bird from outside, he could be that cat too). I mean, the more I listen to the song, the more I kind of realize he sounds like a little turd, but his song is such an earworm that you almost forget that. Plus he sounds small and adorable, which is more than enough to offset any negatives.
The Rum Tum Tugger
Image credit- Cats Wiki
I think he has personally my favorite song from the whole musical. Which is a shame, because some versions just aren’t as good. The recorded Broadway video version is just a touch too slow and the Jason Derulo movie version kind of wastes his talents. Listening to any of his other songs, you would think that this was made for Derulo, but he is just hidden behind the music and doesn’t bring a terrible amount of energy. That being said, its still not an awful version, just lacking. But you’re not here for musical discourse, you want to know if you can handle a Tum Tugger of your own. In this musical prequel to Katy Perry’s Hot and Cold, our boy Rum Tum wants it both ways. This is kind of an off-putting description for a cat, but isn’t that also just human nature? A true grass-is-greener situation. I respect that, plus isn’t that just normal for a cat?
Skimbleshanks, the Railway Cat
My boy gets two. Images credit- Cats Wiki
This cat, unlike all of the other freeloading cats, has a job. He sounds pretty darn good at it too. What is better on a long train ride than a little kitty sidekick who keeps mice at bay and can remind your forgetful self about job duties. He even has clothes!!! Pets that let you dress them are the winners. In the movie, he has some striking trousers and in the play he wears a vest, so if you combine those, you practically have a whole outfit! Both versions of his song are absolute masterpieces. He is like the single character in the movie that actually adds anything to his song with the tap number. I’m not saying its a better version, but its the only movie version that actually is worth listening to. I would adopt a Skimbleshanks right now if I could. Everyone needs a cat as honorable as he.
Honorable Mentions- Munkustrap and Jemima
Images credit- Cats Wiki
This cat is the tour guide of our cat adventure. A custodian of the dusty records of cats if you will. He takes us by the paw and leads us through this whole cat filled escapade. He pulls back the curtain to show us the cat world’s true colors. He should be honored. Jemima is one of the movie’s biggest missteps. She sings a part of memory and also has her own version called “Daylight.” Of course neither of these songs are actually about her, so I have absolutely no say in how she would be around the house. Maybe she would just be that cat that gets along with others.
The Final Verdict
So there you have it. You want a Skimbleshanks. You might not want to name him that, since it sounds mildly threatening though. He is loyal and will let you dress him up. He sounds like a good little buddy to have. But really, I’d take any cat that’s not ranked like Macavity or lower. Also, if you haven’t watched Cats, give it a try. Its like $3 on Youtube. If you hate yourself, you can watch the new on on HBO Max. These songs won’t leave your mind and these cats won’t leave your heart.
In mental preparation for the fluffy stack of word pancakes I have for a planned review later in the week, I’ve got a nice concise review that really encapsulates “whatever is in arm’s reach.” Now to be perfectly candid, this was within my arm’s reach earlier today at work and I actually had to go above and beyond to get the pack of pens out of my trunk for pictures. Scandalous, I know.
I like pens but I don’t love pens. Sure if someone got me a milled aluminum space pen that cost a day’s wages, I would protect it with my life and use it until its (or after my dinner tonight, my) dying day. Previously, I couldn’t seem to keep a pen for longer than a few days. I’d get a progressively less nice pack of pens each school year because I kept losing them sooner and sooner. If I subbed in your class and left my pen, you’re welcome. The same goes for pencils. I got a highly touted box of those black triangular “Tri-conderoga’s” (they’re really quite something) and I lost them all within a month.
I used to rock the gel pens. My folder pocket was decked with a set for many of my elementary years. One year, I “lost” the pink one and a girl in my class claimed that the pink one was hers because “why would a boy have a pink gel pen?” Because it was part of a set, Cristina. How else was elementary totally-not-artistic-at-all Tyler supposed to draw pigs or cat buttholes paws?
I can’t write for beans. People say my writing looks like it belongs to a doctor; which actually sounds like they’re saying its because I’m really smart. Gee thanks! But after seeing some doctor’s signatures, its definitely not a compliment. Its like they have a doctorate in hieroglyphics. Point is though, I don’t have a favorite pen because I am some kind of writer. I use pens as a means to an end. Pens allow me to write things permanently on paper, and that is it.
I am all about reliability though. I need something that is consistent. If I am going to make a big effort to keep a pen, it better keep up its end of the bargain. So I couldn’t get something with a cap, because I would lose that. It also has to have a thick clip, not because I clip it on things, but because I always give the clip a few tugs when I’m bored. I also like pens I can take apart- because I’m that kind of person.
Shape and Style-
I opted for a fine line. I had a medium line version in Goose for writing on softer car surfaces (fine punches through like a needle), but I feel like with my messy writing, a fine tip is the more professional choice. This aspect is really a personal preference though.
The shape of the pen is pretty standard. Black clicker and clip on a slightly smoky, clear body with a simple rubber grip. Striking gold letters adorn(ed, they half rubbed off) the thick and swoopy clip. The grip isn’t anything gimmicky or “ergonomic,” featuring a slight ribbing toward the bottom and a bulge higher up for optimal grip.
Ink-
The ink is silky and dense. Cheap dollar store pen this is not. Lines start where I put my pen down and end precisely where I lift it- its the wizard of ink. The ink doesn’t bleed nor does it take very long to be smudge-proof. The ink cartridge is thick and full. I’ve used one pen all school year, and while the ink line has dropped behind the grip, upon opening it up I can see that its really only half full. Talking about opening pens…
2 I leave in my office drawer (I think? I don’t use those) and 2 stay in my backpack for daily use. The rest lie in waiting for their chance.
Take-apart-ability-
People do this. Its normal right? With some pens that have caps, you have to stick a nail under that tip to pull that part off, sometimes the head comes off and its a mess. This G2? Just a nice screw. The pen comes apart in half and the cartridge is right there for the “changing.” That’s exactly what I do when I take a pen apart, nothing else, definitely not just to play with.
What doesn’t come out? The rest of the guts. No spring and no finnicky click mechanism with that ugly white gear you always forget to put back in. Its like the BMW i8 of pens, it only allows you to tamper with the stuff it knows you cant possibly mess up. I could unscrew this pen, throw the parts across the room, and reassemble it without any hassle (except I just did and I can’t find the ink). Maybe that’s why I’ve kept this pen for so long…maybe I don’t lose my pens….maybe… I break them?
The Final Verdict
Sausage fingers for reference
I don’t of many people that look up pen reviews on the internet. I did and that’s why I have a pack of 10 G2’s. In either fine, medium, or whatever your heart desires, you can draw lines and write letters until your little fingers poop out. Its just a reliable, solid pen that you can get a lot of use out of. You can do anything short of step on it and it will just keep writing. Enjoy the cheapest pen you’ll never let anyone borrow.
(From someone not terribly familiar with day to day weather in other states)
Central California has two seasons: Hot and Cold. Those seasons are further split into “Wet,” “Windy,” or “Frosty” for the Cold season and then “Okay at Night” or “Sweaty Pits at Night” for the Hot season.
The Cold season lasts from exactly November 1st until an ever earlier time in April. Without warning, when the last piece of Halloween candy is given out at Midnight on November 1st, the sweet warmth of summer is stuck back in storage; like my mother taking down holiday decorations. Temperatures immediately drop at least 10 degrees and continue to plunge in this “Frosty” phase. Eventually, after all of those plants you forgot to cover die, its the end of January. All of those surviving plants can get soaked now in the “Wet” season of rainy days ranging in number between what you count on one hand and literally neverending (Student teaching we had practically a month of rainy days; the next year Full-time teaching I had 1). This Cold season is capped off by a miserable “Windy” month where you always have a runny nose. This phase means you have to semi bundle up to avoid the harsh winds, but can’t wear dark colors because the sun is out and can cook you in your oven of jackets.
Just as quickly as the weather drops off in November, Earth’s thermostat gets switched to heat at a random date in April. The Hot season resembles a bell curve here in the Valley, with the first 2 and last 2 months being the “Okay at Night” phase, allowing for the comfortable use of your outside furniture after the sun goes down. That’s not to say the days are bearable; I got drenched last week just waiting for my girlfriend to open the front door in the afternoon. The middle airplane seat passenger of heat (or the Tyler on the couch) between those two pleasant weather-people is the strongest test of anyone who lives here. Yard work that you don’t get done in the early morning is no longer something you can pick up in the evening. The chilling portion of grilling is instead done inside. Planning a party in late June to August is literally “plan around the coolest day of the week.” Also you’ll want to bring a fan… outside… to cool the outside. Install some misters too.
The Final Verdict
Weather here sucks a lot of the time. I don’t know if its me getting older or the environment getting worse, but every Hot season seems longer and warmer. In this last year, I used the heater for one whole month while I’ve been using the AC already since the beginning of April. Some people in San Francisco don’t even have AC!
Its all a big trade off. We don’t get tornados, hurricanes, or snowstorms. The tallest building here is only like 4 stories tall, so the biggest threat an earthquake brings is the embarrassment of not being first to post you felt it on Facebook. We’re also 2 hours from a crisp beach or equally crisp mountain air and about 3 hours from pretty much anywhere else worth going (I still love you San Diego and Las Vegas, but man that’s a drive). That’s probably why so many people have trailers they pull to the beach or cabins up in the mountains; you spend summers in the cool weather and and then come back to the safe valley in the winter, free from snow and the oddly irrational fear of the coastline being swept away in a storm (just me? okay…). I don’t even have to get started about the reasons why agriculture thrives here. As bad as it gets, it will always be home.
Now, the weather is great if you have a pool. Its a great investment, since most of the year really is pool weather. I don’t have one, but I know some people who do. That’s where I’ll be posting from for the next 4 months. Stay Chilly.
I was quite conflicted about doing another audio related (let alone headphone) review, but I feel that since I started the week with the 770’s, it could be poetic to end our maiden voyage week with their bigger brother, the DT990’s.
The biggest hurdle for running headphones is their ohm rating. Many headphones are in the 16-80 range and most of those have no issue running out of a phone or desktop computer. Some headphones fall in the high end monitoring range and are meant to be used directly in a mixer, some soaring over 300 ohm, up to even 600 (in the DT family of all headphones). Headphones in that range definitely need some sort of amp to power them. My 770’s are 80 ohm, which is the middle tier above their 32 ohm offering and far below their 250 ohm version available in the Pro model (880’s and 990’s have the oddly named “edition” model that offers that wild 600 ohm version).
My headphone journey absolutely hit the ground running when I got my pair of DT770’s for Christmas. When I was researching what headphones to get, I noticed I had a lot of options for gaming headphones. At the top of the list were the Phillips Fidelio 2XHR, Audio Technica ATH-AD700X, and then the Ron and Harry Potter of my collection, the DT 770 and 990. Of the group, I had my finger hovering over the Audio Technica’s buy button for the longest time. I thought I wanted tubby bass though and I was deceived that I would only find that in a closed back pair. So I finally got my 770’s.
Welcome to Tyler’s definition corner- You’re likely wondering what an open back is. So headphones typically come in two flavors: Open and closed back. Closed back are the most common in wireless headphones, gaming headsets, sound cancelling headphones, and a wide variety of common headphone brands like Beats, SkullCandy, or Sony. They are really good for keeping the world’s sound out and your sound in. Those with loud families or long commutes would want this type of headphone. They have more of a resonance due to the sound kind of bouncing around with nowhere to go except your ear hole.
Open back headphones have an open grill or mesh behind the headphone’s driver (essentially the speaker) that allows sounds in but more importantly, sound out. Instruments and battles alike sound like they’re coming from your room as opposed to the tighter sphere of sound that closed backs offer. When Affirmation by George Benson (the live version) sneaks into my playlist with open backs, the initial rim click on the snare sounds like someone snapping a twig precisely in my doorway, while in closed backs it just comes from the right side of my head.
When I got my 770’s, I suddenly wanted more. Now don’t get me wrong, I loved them and they still have a spot in my lineup today. For music, they were fantastic, but for gaming I lacked the depth I felt that I was promised. My friend was getting into the headphone game as well (with the Fidelios) and praised the world of open backs. I realized all fears of getting an open back pair were now flipped on their heads. 80 ohms was more than enough for my motherboard, but at Fidelio-Friend’s suggestion, I got myself an ifi Zen Dac for a little more gusto.
The 770’s were a slap fest with this added power (it has a built in amp), but I needed more. Not much later, I ordered the Zen Can, a standalone amp with a ton more power. This amp really was a little much for the little 770’s, overly warming up the low end (its the perfect amp for a pair of Sennheiser’s for that exact reason) even on its lowest setting. So I dropped the hammer and got the 250 ohm 990’s.
The New Baseline
Sound signature-
Picture a little Mike Tyson and your eardrums are his punching bag. With many headphones, you can feel a rumble in the low end. With these, you feel that rumble of course, but it starts a hair earlier with the punch. You feel the pedal hitting the bass drum head. Every bass note asks your ear hairs for a dance. That’s attainable in plenty of headphones though, but what’s not is the high end punch. Many headphones trade off high ends (something like a Grado) for fat low ends but these guys impossibly do both.
Some say that they are too much. Legends say that the 990’s can make your ears bleed. To me they’re absolutely spot on. I was in band for years. You feel the snare hits and the bass drum kicks in your bones. It can be considered tiring for some, but I can last a full day with these on.
These have what’s described as a Deep V sound signature- slapping bass, illegally high treble. Yet the mid doesn’t get lost like it does in the 770’s or Fidelios. Voices still have their own cubby that they fit in neatly along with the other instruments. The sound is very sterile. In my 770 review, I talk about the 990’s being a medical school’s auditorium. They are very in line with that serious style Germans are known for. While the fun comes from blending and warmth in many other headphones, these absolutely shine in a Rammstein-esque industrial sense. The most explosive dynamics peppered over an almost cold landscape. Orchestral arrangements are a little cold, but otherwise any other instrumental forward genre really pop.
Sound Quality-
Quality wise, they are on par with the 770’s. They are the same drivers as the 770’s but tuned very different. The sound is very compartmentalized. In the Fidelio’s (and the 770’s to a lesser extent), the deep bass resonated up in the mid area, mudding up the sounds that live in that area. With the 990’s, bass is totally separate from any other instrument. Every instrument exists exactly where it should. This could be a plus for those who like to analyze each any every crevice of a song but could bother those who want a cohesive piece. You can put a lot of sound behind these headphones with little to no distortion.
A headphone like the Sennheiser 6xx or Hifiman 400i may be even a bit more clear, but the out-of-this-world dynamics are what keep me coming back.
Build Quality-
These are built and styled pretty much the same as the 770’s, albeit with a mesh earcup instead of the solid plastic on the closed back 770. The headband is the same impossibly resilient padding and they have the same supple velour ear pads. The only difference is that these feel like they are one width click smaller than the 770’s, so after a while I do find myself pulling down on them just a touch.
Instead of the lengthy 10 foot cable on the 770, these have a much shorter curled cable that is the ideal length from amp to my ear. All of the plastics are textured well an the metals are beyond sturdy.
The Final Verdict-
Should you get these? Probably. They fit exactly what I want in a pair of headphones, but everyone is different. In 250 ohm form, they do take more than just what a computer or Zen Dac alone can provide to get the full soundstage. Without an amp, you lose some of the punch and power that really makes these shine. Even the Zen Dac along with its built in amp lacks some of the nuance that the Can brings, in addition to two higher levels of ear shattering power.
I love these and I reach for them more than any other in my collection. The dynamic levels have ruined me to some extent because I find other headphones lacking. If you are building up a collection, aim for a wide selection of styles. To balance the intensity of these, I also have the 6xx’s for an intimate room sized concert and the 400i’s to go over each note with a fine tooth comb (they also handle electronica pretty well). But if I had to go back and only land on one, these would be the pair. They are not a headphone for everyone, but they are a great all rounder for those that want one pair for everything.
Buckle your figurative seatbelts because this is a chonker. I love my 4Runner, Goose, more than some people. But of course in addition to my goofy opinions, I always strive to offer an objective viewpoint as well. This is the first part in a series of reviews about my good buddy, with new parts coming out anytime I encounter something new.
Those of you that knew me in high school knew how against lifted trucks I was. To me, all those guys gave it a really bad rap. I wanted nothing other than a fast car. I never really got one. My first car, a Dodge Avenger, wasn’t terribly quick and handled like a boat. I really enjoyed how it looked, but performance wise, it wasn’t anything wild. By the end of my time at College of the Sequoias, I had come down with a bad case of growing a few inches. I was always tall, but at that point I was head-in-the-sunroof tall. That was when sunroofs became enemy number one in all of my future vehicles.
Eventually, as a going to Fresno State/ Saving our son from a lifetime of neck issues gift, I moved into a Challenger. For a 2 -door car, it was spacious (for me and definitely not the person behind me) and for a V6, it was pretty fun. I couldn’t really take another with me anywhere, but one other full sized person (plus any child or child sized adult in the backseat) and I could really have some fun. But as my income increased and I had a little spending money, I began to question if I wanted to put money into a V6. Most people on forums said something along the lines of “its cheaper to trade in instead to do a swap” and so my focus instead was to eventually get something totally different. But what?
A couple years after my Challenger, my mom’s Dodge Journey kicked rocks and she ended up in the new (at the time) Rav4 (the year after they dropped the cool rear tire). I had never been an SUV guy, but that thing was so cool. I felt like I could take it anywhere and when it was time to go on longer trips, I did. While my Challenger wasn’t terribly hard to drive day to day- pulling out of parking spots was a guessing game since I had no vision and long freeway slogs resulted in a lot of checking blind spots (and muffler drone).
The decision-making-cherry on top of my mind-sundae was Youtube (which if you read my Benchmade video, is dangerous for me). I was getting into Coyote Peterson and so my suggestions turned into a ton of outdoorsy channels, one being “Expedition Overland.” For their South America season, they outfit a pair of 4Runner’s to go ripping across any terrain. Suddenly the dream of going anywhere was attainable. I could look at a mountain in the distance and truthfully (though probably not legally) say “I’m going up that hill.”
So for the next few years, I had a dream. I did enough research to write a paper. I knew that car inside and out without even seeing one up close. When I was finally making big-boy money, I started seriously considering one. I really was enthralled by the colors offered in the TRD Pro model and I think its a little weird they don’t offer them the next year on the Offroad model like they do for the trucks.
The options initially were either a rad colored Pro that I wouldn’t have to do much to or a boring colored Offroad that I would eventually lift and modify. I was really steering toward a Voodoo Blue 2019 until I found out that they only came with my mortal enemy- the sunroof (if this is untrue please do not tell me, I am happy with Goose, but I swear all sources said this was standard). “Hey Tyler, its an SUV. You totally fit in your mom’s Rav4 with a sunroof and isn’t a 4Runner bigger? Yes, Yes, and Yes*! The outside is bigger, it may even be wider, and if my girlfriend was any shorter, she would need a ladder to get in. You know what’s not bigger? The headroom. And we’re talking real headroom here, since I’m sure someone can give me some stats on cabin height that says its bigger than the Rav4. The 4Runner’s seat must just sit higher than the Rav4 and thus if the vehicle is adorned with villainous sunroof, my up-do tickles the roof. I’m not about to deal with that daily. What if I grow another inch in my 30’s? What if I want to wear a funny hat?
Plus I got really in depth with my plans for the whip. I wasn’t going to just let it be how it was stock. The blacked out rims were nice and so was the exhaust (still on the fence about getting one, it kinda drones) but the lift was just alright and for the upcharge I could get an Offroad and still tack that stuff on later for a lower price. So instead of getting the maxed out model and still playing with it, I would just get the model that’s missing the stuff I would replace. And sorry blue, but the 2020’s got radar cruise and Carplay.
So my eyes were glued to the internet. I could never find a release date beyond “Fall 2019” but that didn’t stop me looking as early as mid-summer. Many searches for 2020’s surfaces results of 2019’s but I kept up the hunt. One fateful 2am Friday search dropped 3 2020 results right at my feet. One was specifically a white 2020 4Runner Offroad Premium, with KDSS (the suspension addition to make on-road driving less trucky and off-road more trucky) in Vallejo. My family, as usual, was awake at 2am, watching tv like it was prime time. I didn’t have to say much, because by this point they too were likely able to write a scholarly paper on it from how much I talked about my future vehicle. As soon as they opened in the morning, I called to see if it was true. Just before giving up the search in a sea of 2019’s, he sees it in the back corner of the lot. So all four of us load into my challenger and take off… The rest is history…
How it goes
Design
Goose hot off the lot
I had always liked how the 4Runners looked, minus the abomination that was Gen 4 (its the front end). The narrow body with flared fender-hips takes me back to the 90’s FJ80 Land Cruisers (I will own one someday). The taillights are bulgy and and the headlights are squinty but on the otherwise sleek and sometimes angular modern body, they fit right in. The face (every vehicle has one) of a 5th Gen looks like an anime character charging their attack (or the more I look at it, a really surprised bear).
The interior is pretty straightforward, with Toyota’s seemingly indestructible black pleather seats and a slightly more modern gage cluster (this one has a screen with a 4Runner that pulls a Greased Lightning into the stars when I start him up). The dash has some random materials on it, like they just rolled a die to choose, but they all seem to work (and none are fake wood). The Offroad models have a rad differential lever and almost all black interior as opposed to the electric differential knob and plasticy silver and grey interior on the SR5, which makes the non premium Offroad’s (no leather) feel still pretty premium. The knobs an such are all plastic, but are all huge for big hands or gloves.
Comfort
Memory foam seats are absolutely magical. Once your buns are drift compatible with the cushion, you will be hugged by a supple pleather. It is a weird experience when you first sit in a fresh untouched model, but after a few hours, you’ll sink in. It was like my gaming chair- an hour or so of “Omg is it going to be like this forever” then its all “if you make me get up, I’ll fight you.” Any surface of the interior that can be caressed by your elbow is a soft padded pleather as well. Its getting a little picky, but there aren’t any dashboard edges that dig into my legs when I lean on them (I’m looking at you Honda). Actual breathing human beings can fit behind me. I think even I could fit behind myself, and that’s saying something.
Technology
The technology upgrades were the reason I waited for a 2020, but even before that, the 4Runners had a ton of futuristic off road tech. There is a terrain select knob, crawl control, hill assist, and of course a fat retro differential lever (which I guess is more old school, but hey, time is a flat circle). It still has halogen headlights and they’re manual, but let’s just say they’re going retro with those too. The steering wheel is pretty intuitive and after years with horrible face buttons, I feel back at home with the little cruise control trigger. The only thing that bothers me (read: absolutely kills me) is the volume control and next/previous directional pad. YOU TURN MUSIC UP AND DOWN. YOU SCROLL FORWARD AND BACK THROUGH TRACKS. I don’t know, maybe my brain is just wired weird, but up and down seems correct for volume while left and right seems right for moving through songs. But on the good ol’ 4Runner, up and down cycles tracks while left and right is volume. I mean, they’re labeled, but still its hard to change something so hard wired in my head. If by reading this you are now ruined, welcome to the club.
Must…rotate…90 degrees left…
In addition to all that jazz, the 2020 adds radar cruise (with collision prevention called TSS), a fat Apple Carplay/ Android Auto worthy screen, and a push start button that allows me to leave my keys in the pockets of my unnecessarily tight pants. The screen is very responsive but sometimes I run into glitches where phone calls linger on the screen or the music doesn’t play, but that’s usually a connection thing between my phone and likely not a head unit issue. Radar cruise works about as well as I’d like it to, but if I have the speed too high and the car I’m following moves, Goose will vigorously accelerate up to the speed I had him set to. I’ve yet to find a happy medium, because on the other end of the spectrum, whenever I resumed cruise on my Challenger, its like it was bothered to do so. Talking about pep…
Ignore my missed calls, they’re all scammers I swear!
Performance
So many reviews talk about the 4Runner as slow, and with 500 or so extra pounds of gear bolted on, I can imagine they do have some issues. But just with my lardy self (and about 50lbs of steel skid plates), Goose seems to still blast off. His 4.0 liter engine is strong and what it lacks in outright power, it makes up for in torque. Its not going to win any races, but its much better than the “0-60 in yes” image I had in my head from reviews. Sure crossovers (CUV’s) and sedans may be super fast nowadays, but that’s not what I’m comparing my 4Runner to. The engine itself is the same supposedly bulletproof engine they have used for years in the 4Runner, which many say is better than the new 3.5L they put in the Tacoma. Gas mileage is pretty rough around town (part of why the 3.5 exists and may be a future offering in the 4Runner), but long distance range is pretty comparable to anything in its class, only to of course get worse with every mod you bolt on.
The KDSS seems to really help the nose dive that the unequipped 4Runners have when braking (I drove one and it was almost bad enough to turn me off). It isn’t terribly nimble, but it handles much closer to a CUV than a big ol’ truck or Suburban. KDSS also keeps the body roll to a minimum around corners, but this isn’t a sports car we’re talking about- its just flat enough to keep drinks mostly in their cups. Ride comfort isn’t bad- its not super stiff performance nor floaty comfort- its the baby bear of SUV offerings.
Off Road Capabilities
I practically drove Goose off the lot and onto rocks. I don’t feel bad thrashing $40,000 off road because that is what he was made for. In the few trails I have done since his purchase, I have proved to myself that I made the correct purchase. There isn’t a trail I’ve been on that has made me say “I wish I didn’t do that.” On my last trail, the Dusy-Ershim, the rocks absolutely manhandled my front skid plate, put a threatening dent in my gas tank skid, and then a huge stump caused me to get my rear differential stuck on the way out. After I took those off, I realized that not a hair on Goose’s frame was harmed. Then I replaced them with a monster aftermarket skid plate set from RCI Offroad (Gas skid from Victory 4×4, it had better protection).
When I hit the dunes, I just slowly add more features in from to 4 wheel drive to terrain select and 4 low if I’m really bogged down. The stock tires are hot garbage for grip, but I’ve yet to get stuck beyond getting out on my own accord. Chunky tires and a 3 inch lift are next up to give me the optimal specs for hitting the trails. There are definitely trails I am not comfortable now (or with like a half inch less clearance due to my beefier armor) without a lift, but as I build him up, I’ll only shy from the hard rock crawling trails.
The Final Verdict
Do you want a quality SUV to fit your family (without settling for a van)? The Toyota 4Runner probably isn’t for you. It is not a people carrier first like many CUV’s are. It is a quality SUV that is a little rough around the edges. I have manual headlights in a $40,000 vehicle and the engine is from the late 2000’s. But that simplicity keeps me confident that I can find anyone to wrench on this engine in a pinch. In addition, the storied reliability of these drivetrains make me sure that Goose will be collecting those high mileage badges in years to come.
He’s not going to win a race, be best of show at a car meet, or be comfortable enough to help my grandma forget about the length of the trip (even a trip to Visalia makes her ask “my God, are we going to San Francisco?) but he is tailor made for someone who wants to drive to work on weekdays and ford a river on Saturday. If you want a deeper off road experience from Toyota, pick up an FJ. If you want a more family oriented offering, aim for a Highlander or Sequoia (I’m not sponsored, but hey, if they want me to be). If you want the best of both worlds though, and to you its practicality outweighs its impracticality, you can’t go wrong with a 4Runner (plus I need a wheeling buddy)! Until we meet on the trails, keep it #looseygoosey.
There are few things I buy more than shoes. They litter my floor like tiny land mines. They pour out of my closet (and the reason my doors fell off). In a Home Alone situation, I could probably set up a trap that would comically bury the wet bandits in a pile of shoes. I will visit a Vans or Nike outlet any chance I get. Oddly enough, I don’t consider myself a “sneakerhead.” I don’t like to go out to dates wearing my steezy Jordan’s or flex my drip at family gatherings. In fact, I usually don’t wear shoes unless it’s absolutely necessary.
Floppers, flippy floppies, thongs (my family used to call them that). I’m a flip flop guy. I get one pair when I go to Pismo and usually blow them out by the next year (I think my right leg is like a touch longer so sometimes I trip on slightly raised cracks, weakening and then snapping the fabric that fits in my toe gap). If its summer and I’m not working, my toesies are soaking up the sun. Practically any time I’m in shorts, I’m in floppers (I don’t wear them with pants, it just feels weird).
Unfortunately, there are 2 caveats to the flippy floppy life (3 if you count the urge to wear Crocs, because they’re just so darn neat). One is the weather. Sometimes California can get a little crisp in our one week of winter, so I transition over to boots and thick socks. The second is the need to look presentable. If I went to an anniversary dinner in flip flops I’d get shot (luckily it’s in November so it falls under pant week). Of course the other place where I have to look presentable is at work. I have to keep my forelegs hidden behind a veil of trouser while teaching, so naturally that means my toesies are locked away as well.
Luckily as a teacher, “professional dress” includes comfy shoes so I can move around the classroom and teach (don’t tell them that I sit behind a desk all day since I meet about half my kids online and the in person kids one on one). Through my years subbing, I had many different shoes: slip on Vans, Tom’s (that was a dark time), various Nike trainers. I am not the lightest person on earth and if I don’t have support, then I am not going to be able to spend a whole lot of time on my feet. One fateful journey to the Vans outlet later…
I won’t say I’m in love (do dooot do dooot)
Design-
The Vans UltraRange Sneaker looks like you saw a trainer from Nike and Adidas and described it to someone who has only seen and owned Vans. They are simple. They have a mostly white foam bottom similar to Adidas cloud foam, but styled to reminisce classic Vans, like the textured front rubberish strip that nearly all pairs have. The upper is made from a thin breathable fabric with tactic deployment of felt for heel support, padding for comfort around the ankle, and vinyl around the eyelets and toes for wear resistance when you drop some sick kick flips. Of course the classic Vans swoop is there, along with the (sometimes) red signature heel tag.
Here’s one side
Comfort-
Never have I had a shoe fit so perfect. The fabric contours my feet instead of trapping them. I usually get bothered by shoes that are too narrow and push on my pinky toe. In these, my toes can spread out like 5 little carrots (maybe 4 and a brussel sprout if you want to get technical) on a big plate.
Surprise, here’s the other!
They are amazing walking shoes and support my weight when standing in one place for too long. They are grippy enough for any slippery surface I’ve come across as well (you could say that’s not really a comfort thing, but not falling and breaking all of my bones is pretty comfortable in my eyes). They have padding right around my dainty ankles (very proud of them, it’s why I wear shorts a lot) that helps cushion my movements and keeps them away from any sharp edges.
The Gripes-
The only issue I have with these shoes is their laces. The shoes have colored matching laces that seem to get kinda frumpy looking after a while. They seem to be the only area that Vans let slide. A nice quality white shoelace would bring them more in like with classic Vans style anyways. You could also solve this issue by just buying the slip on version, since tying shoes is a relic of the past.
The Final Verdict
Laces to yourself, right footed blue shoe!
I am absolutely addicted to these shoes. I would own a pair in every color if I could (and boy am I trying). Of course, I have many other Vans that are similarly comfortable. Sometimes I wear Kyle Walker Pro’s because they have a strap and I’m not in the mood to tie shoes that day. I have a couple of high tops as well and even just got a new pair of high top UltraRange’s. I know a lot of people forego Vans because their classic styles may not fit well and whatever they’ve done to their current slip-ons makes them oddly tight. However, these don’t fit like any Vans I’ve had before, for better or worse.
Price wise, you can find them for as low as $20 at the outlet, otherwise they’re around $70. They’re worth that price if you find a color you just can’t pass up. Finding the color you want for $20 at the outlet though? That’s the dream.
I put the new ones in the front because the rest are icky
The Ultra Ranges come in pretty much any color you imagine. I have them in red, yellow, orange, mint, and light blue, with more to come. I also have a slip-on pair in some wild limited design that looks like I hit random on the custom Vans site. There are a pair of Ultra Ranges for everyone.
Also if you find the purple pair in size 13, please let me know, I love you in advance.
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