(From someone not terribly familiar with day to day weather in other states)
Central California has two seasons: Hot and Cold. Those seasons are further split into “Wet,” “Windy,” or “Frosty” for the Cold season and then “Okay at Night” or “Sweaty Pits at Night” for the Hot season.
The Cold season lasts from exactly November 1st until an ever earlier time in April. Without warning, when the last piece of Halloween candy is given out at Midnight on November 1st, the sweet warmth of summer is stuck back in storage; like my mother taking down holiday decorations. Temperatures immediately drop at least 10 degrees and continue to plunge in this “Frosty” phase. Eventually, after all of those plants you forgot to cover die, its the end of January. All of those surviving plants can get soaked now in the “Wet” season of rainy days ranging in number between what you count on one hand and literally neverending (Student teaching we had practically a month of rainy days; the next year Full-time teaching I had 1). This Cold season is capped off by a miserable “Windy” month where you always have a runny nose. This phase means you have to semi bundle up to avoid the harsh winds, but can’t wear dark colors because the sun is out and can cook you in your oven of jackets.
Just as quickly as the weather drops off in November, Earth’s thermostat gets switched to heat at a random date in April. The Hot season resembles a bell curve here in the Valley, with the first 2 and last 2 months being the “Okay at Night” phase, allowing for the comfortable use of your outside furniture after the sun goes down. That’s not to say the days are bearable; I got drenched last week just waiting for my girlfriend to open the front door in the afternoon. The middle airplane seat passenger of heat (or the Tyler on the couch) between those two pleasant weather-people is the strongest test of anyone who lives here. Yard work that you don’t get done in the early morning is no longer something you can pick up in the evening. The chilling portion of grilling is instead done inside. Planning a party in late June to August is literally “plan around the coolest day of the week.” Also you’ll want to bring a fan… outside… to cool the outside. Install some misters too.
The Final Verdict
Weather here sucks a lot of the time. I don’t know if its me getting older or the environment getting worse, but every Hot season seems longer and warmer. In this last year, I used the heater for one whole month while I’ve been using the AC already since the beginning of April. Some people in San Francisco don’t even have AC!
Its all a big trade off. We don’t get tornados, hurricanes, or snowstorms. The tallest building here is only like 4 stories tall, so the biggest threat an earthquake brings is the embarrassment of not being first to post you felt it on Facebook. We’re also 2 hours from a crisp beach or equally crisp mountain air and about 3 hours from pretty much anywhere else worth going (I still love you San Diego and Las Vegas, but man that’s a drive). That’s probably why so many people have trailers they pull to the beach or cabins up in the mountains; you spend summers in the cool weather and and then come back to the safe valley in the winter, free from snow and the oddly irrational fear of the coastline being swept away in a storm (just me? okay…). I don’t even have to get started about the reasons why agriculture thrives here. As bad as it gets, it will always be home.
Now, the weather is great if you have a pool. Its a great investment, since most of the year really is pool weather. I don’t have one, but I know some people who do. That’s where I’ll be posting from for the next 4 months. Stay Chilly.
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