Man it has been a month for me. I spent nearly every single minute away from students at work grading, so the last thing I felt like doing when I got home was writing. But alas! Now it is summer! And with summer, I hope to get back to my pace of one review a day.
Now I feel like I’ve lied lately when I said this blog was about stuff in arm’s reach. Video games are only technically in arm’s reach, since my computer- the vessel that houses said games- is very comfortably in grabbing distance and a car is very not in arm’s length. You know what is in touching distance? A blanket.
The gift you can definitely get for someone you just kinda know. Maybe you want to get all your friends’ wives gifts. I don’t think people go to the store with the intent to buy a blanket. You walk around Kohls and its not until you stumble across this pile of thick, luscious blankets after hours of looking at other things that you realize “man, these would make great Christmas gifts for all of my friends’ wives.”
I am not a blanket person. I am a human heating pad. If I was flatter and wider, I myself could be quite the blanket. Like a blanket, you don’t want me close to you during the summer. Before acquiring The Big One, I reached for a blanket once or twice a year. Once when I am sick and once when I am sitting at my computer, shortly before tossing it off in a fit of heat.
That being said, I love this blanket. I didn’t actually seek it out; my girlfriend knows that I like plaid things and thus she got me a really plush red plaid blanket. It is so soft and keeps me at the right temperature. I keep it at the foot of my bed, so that it is always within reach. I like to be warm in the cold, so even on winter days I would turn my fan on and get cozy under my big one. Sometimes I just need to slip my feet under my big one. There is however, one thing misleading about the name…
A one that isnt big is hardly a one at all
I am a big guy. That bigness extends in all directions. Store-bought pants come in long or wide, but rarely both. Its a hassle to find bigger shirts that are also tall (that are rad, I need colorful). So, when I read “The Big One” on the blanket’s packaging, I expected something I could drown in. I always saw pictures online of the Big Blanket Co. blankets that looked like a huge pillow-fortable blanket for adults. I cant say I didn’t expect something akin to that from the blanket called “The Big One.” One thing I didn’t know is that The Big One is actually a brand. A brand of not comically large items like the name suggests.
If I pull it up to my face, my toesies pop out. If I cover my toes, I can’t get a good wrap around my shoulders. Yea I’m only 6’4, but I can’t just cover my toes and call it good, the blanket needs to wrap under them to really lock out that cold. I need another foot of length Lord Big One, I beg you. Width wise, I am fine. I am not 5 feet wide and I could probably fit two of me in here. However that second me would also either have cold tootsies or shoulders.
The Final Verdict
The Big One is a blanket from Kohls that will keep you the perfect amount of warm. Its plush microfiber will never make you itch. It is enormous as long as you are not also enormous. Normal sized people, like the aforementioned friends’ wives who probably all have one, likely find themselves with more blanket than they can shake a stick at. One day I am sure Big One headquarters will read this and create a Bigger One (in purple plaid please) to please the bigger ones of society. Until then, browsing Kohls’ website, I noticed that they have one with cats and plants, so I may just go on a special trip to get another.
Goose Reviews Everything 